Not every movie is perfect. In fact there are only two perfect movies: 8 Mile, and Step Up 2: The Streets. The rest of them have flaws, which is fine, it doesn’t make them bad. More often than not, it’s what makes them great. I co-host the Guilty Movie Pleasures podcast, a place where these flaws are highlighted, celebrated, discussed and cherished. But what I’d like to do in this space each week, is really dig my heels in on a specific itch I need scratched from the movie we’ve covered. Please note: I’m highly unreliable, so “each week” is an all-caps TBD. But I come to you with clear eyes and a full heart, which I’m told means I can’t lose. So here goes…
On this week’s episode we covered The Hunt, which is a wild fucking ride. (I should note that we had director Craig Zobel on the show to discuss, and he provided some fascinating insights to the roller-coaster ride of their release, some behind the scenes anecdotes, and some very…we’ll call them “unique”, gun-specific fears…revealed.)
The movie itself is surprising in a really great way. And it features a star-making performance from Betty Gilpin, who somehow manages to give us Detached Killing Machine and Fully Engaged Analytic in the same breath.
But here’s the thing, guys. The picture painted of the antagonists was one of a no-expense-spared production hellbent on vengeance and violence. A group of “liberal elites” out to hunt down unsuspecting “deplorables” in a Hunger Games-esque field of play. They built a fake city with integrated participants everywhere ready to mow down their prey. And in the middle of their killing field, there was a bunker. A place they could all comfortably hide while sniping a scurried and disoriented mob. And I suppose, given the circumstances, they thought they’d be in that bunker an hour, tops.
But that hour turned into a full day and evening. And as you all know, at some point over the course of a day and evening, nature will call. And when it did, our Elite friend found a nearby tree to relieve himself. This is the scratch I need to itch.
A quick detour to talk about me. I drink a lot of coffee, and I pee a lot. I pee immediately before I do anything. About to get in the car? Might as well pee. Podcast starting in two minutes? A perfect amount of time to pee and comfortably get reseated and ready to chat. Do I need to pee? Well, I should probably pee first.
You get the idea.
I prefer aisle seats on airplanes for unrestricted bathroom access. I prefer to be the driver on road trips so I can stop whenever I want. It’s pretty much always on my mind. And I cannot fathom a universe where I’d spend ANY amount of money to build a kill shelter, and not have a single usable receptacle for any/all bodily functions. What an outrageous oversight.
If you weren’t rooting against them already because of the small-scale massacre they’re conducting, may I submit exhibit A – a COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR PROPER CARE OVER THEIR OWN BLADDERS. THE PROSECUTION RESTS YOUR HONOR.
Maybe during walk-throughs, or a trial-run they didn’t see the need. Sure. An oversight, definitely, but sure. Maybe they’re not as conscious of their intake/output cycle as I am. I’m willing to concede this point.
But think about the last time you were in a pressure situation, and how your body reacted.
And now think about suddenly coming face-to-face with twelve regular people you told yourself you had no problem killing, and think of the pressure you might feel.
And think about how valuable a safe space to physically work those feelings out would be (now we’re talkin’ poop, keep up).
Cause ya know what you won’t want to do, is venture outside with bullets whizzing in every direction, take up a vulnerable stance, and remain still for any period of time. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO POOP OUTSIDE? If you did, I bet it was a peacetime poop.
And I bet knowing it was peacetime didn’t even make it pleasant.
In summary. The Hunt is entertaining and good and fun. But I would never abide a leader who doesn’t consider all of my basic needs. And that – and only that – is the reason I was rooting for Betty Gilpin to whoop some ass.
Jesse McIntosh is an actor, writer, podcaster and comedian who is best known for co-hosting the Guilty Movie Pleasures podcast on Popcorn Talk Network, and for being cut out of the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3.
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